Quarantine, Acne, and My Undying Hatred for the Red Sox

I thought quarantine wouldn’t be too bad for me because I’m still working, but I gravely misjudged my need to go out. I don’t merely mean social interaction because, personally, I could do without the interaction part. I have no desire to interact. I do need to observe. The last time I talked to aContinue reading “Quarantine, Acne, and My Undying Hatred for the Red Sox”

Shame Shame I Know Your Name

What a time to be alive, am I right? I’m sun burnt, dehydrated, have worse allergies than I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve had writer’s block for a month, but hey, at least I don’t have the Corona. All it takes for me to get back into writing is to be around stupidity.Continue reading “Shame Shame I Know Your Name”

Corona Virus and Feet Pics

Corona has been going off with some pretty great branding. Corona Beer: You’ll think you’ve died and went to heaven. Corona Virus: You’ll die and we’ll see about the heaven thing. Despite people dropping that stat that 38% of Americans say they won’t drink Corona now, they are lying. Corona reported sales are actually upContinue reading “Corona Virus and Feet Pics”

Alright, Desert Island, You Can Only Watch One TV Show Ever Again, Go.

So, my friend said today that if she could only watch one TV show ever again she would choose Impractical Jokers. While I don’t necessarily agree with this choice, I think this posed an absolutely great question. TV shows are the new movies. You got cable TV shows, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, AppleContinue reading “Alright, Desert Island, You Can Only Watch One TV Show Ever Again, Go.”

Kaitlin Bennett: The Girl With The Gun

So, guns right. Fun topic to talk about. Almost as fun as talking about abortion or Jesus Christ. Guns have all the buzz nowadays. Either you love them or you hate them. If you like guns, you also have to love dead kids. If you hate guns, you’re a liberal snowflake that has never putContinue reading “Kaitlin Bennett: The Girl With The Gun”

Bachelor’s are for the Boys

So, it’s Monday night again and we have 4 girls remaining. Well, possibly five, if it’s really true that Peter is fucking the producer. Julie, all along. We have Madison, Victoria F., Hannah, A., and Kelsey. We got all ages from 23-28. We got people with real jobs and well, people with things they doContinue reading “Bachelor’s are for the Boys”

Florida Man Wrangles Cows On Highway 75

You always hear the jokes about Florida. Google Florida and your birthday or Florida is the armpit of America and rightfully so, but there are plenty of normal people down in Florida. My parents for instance. They live in Florida and they drove up to visit us this weekend. Unfortunately, on my parents ride up,Continue reading “Florida Man Wrangles Cows On Highway 75”

If You Don’t Like Me…You’ll Love This

I’m a real self-deprecating prick. An Asshole. A shmuck. I’ve been trying to come up with a blog that would be really funny. The problem is…I’m not that funny. But plenty of people on the internet are. Plenty of people probably think, “why is this bald fuck still going with this shit?” The reason is,Continue reading “If You Don’t Like Me…You’ll Love This”

Here’s An Idea For All-star Games

Aren’t we all sick of all-star games? The pro bowl is boring. The home run derby is ridiculous. How can the dunk contest get any better? It has hit it’s ceiling. Hockey probably does something but who the fuck knows what they do. Here’s my idea. We get rid of all of the all-star gamesContinue reading “Here’s An Idea For All-star Games”

The Guy Punching the Plane Seat Who Eerily Looks Like Me

If you haven’t seen this video yet, I promise it’s not me. Although, the resemblance is absolutely striking and it probably does look like something I do. But I’m not the kind of person who will be actively aggressive. I would say I’m more passive aggressive. But anyway, here is the video. Look, I’m 5’5.Continue reading “The Guy Punching the Plane Seat Who Eerily Looks Like Me”