Kaitlin Bennett: The Girl With The Gun

So, guns right. Fun topic to talk about. Almost as fun as talking about abortion or Jesus Christ. Guns have all the buzz nowadays. Either you love them or you hate them. If you like guns, you also have to love dead kids. If you hate guns, you’re a liberal snowflake that has never put in a hard day of work. Pick your side.

People who have guns love to say, “come and take it. You’re not getting my guns without a fight.” As if the police are showing up and ready for gun battles with people. I wonder how different people in Australia must be, because they basically handed over all of their guns after the Port Arthur Massacre. Meanwhile, in America…

“Gonna need more guns!”

Then we have the other side of the coin who feels we should disregard one tiny piece of the constitution and take away rights from some people while also fighting for rights for other people. God, that tasted bad in my mouth saying it but I have to be in the center for the sake of what I’m about to say next. Anyway, here’s a comic to make some people happy.

Regardless, of which side you are on, can we all agree that Kaitlin Bennett is as entitled as any other person living within this country’s borders. I’m sure you all remember these pictures.

Objectively speaking, it’s not a bad look for her. Some guys probably get off on the girl with a gun thing. For me it’s like being in a devil’s threesome with a guy who has a way bigger dick than me. Which would probably be most devil’s threesomes for me. So, I wouldn’t say I get off on it. But, I will say she looks good with a gun that can kill 20-30 people in less than a minute. Go queen.

But, this girl is unfortunately an entitled asshole. Almost how like Tomi Lahren is an asshole. The kind of person who just wants to be berated by the other side. She wants haters. She revels in it. Just because you CAN carry a giant gun to a college, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. And that’s where lies the problem. She recently went to Ohio University, to ask this question.

That’s not provocative, that’s just Billy Eichner’s job to make people laugh. She’s trying to be an asshole. Maybe some people don’t know the first three presidents but they are probably the type of people who code twitter and make your bullshit career a possibility. People can definitely be assholes, whether they are left or right handed. But you asking this question makes you the asshole. Someone leaked this so people would show up. I’m not buying what you’re selling.Anyway, here it is.

I wouldn’t recognize this girl from any other snowflake or conservative I’ve ever seen in my life. Unless of course she was carrying a military grade weapon strapped to her back. Then I might just be like fuck, this is it this is how it ends. For some reason, now whenever I see someone strapped with an assault rifle I always think that’s how I’m going out. You don’t get lucky twice.

I get it. Believe in what you believe in. But if I walked into gun store and “was just there,” donning a shirt that says, “guns kill kids,” and just walked around people would get pissed too. I saw a guy throw a PBR at a wall last week, because a comedian made a joke about republicans drinking PBR. Everyone can get irrationally mad. I once punched a tree and broke my hand because a girl didn’t like me back.

The people at this “riot” aren’t left or right winged people (although you’re probably right, they probably are mostly liberals), they are just drunk college kids. And drunk college kids like to throw shit. And what exactly do you want these cops to do? This is not a riot, this is you causing a commotion on a campus that otherwise wouldn’t of happened.

Kaitlin, you might like guns, but what you really like, is being famous. This is what you want and you got it.

Like, you fucking nailed it. Yeah, people hate you, but you’re rich now. I would do the same thing and so would everyone else.

I don’t have any hate for this girl. She’s smart. She’s not “playing the victim.” She’s playing everyone. She won the game of internet fame. She’s definitely a piece of shit human, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the type of person I’d want to hang out with. I’m just saying, she probably goes home from work, which is essentially Billy Eichner’s job, except everyone hates her instead of loves her, and she has dinner. And she loves it.

Touché my friend, touché. But as much as you want to remembered as the “gun girl,” you won’t be. You can do anything you want. Literally anything. Kill everyone in the world. But the last living person won’t say, “oh your the girl with the gun.” They will say, “Oh. Aren’t you the girl who shit her pants at a frat party.” And that is why, you always leave the party before you get ‘shit your pants’ drunk. Because no one ever forgets the person, who shit their pants.

Who even shits this much?

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

3 thoughts on “Kaitlin Bennett: The Girl With The Gun

    1. Hahah probably… Meanwhile she’s like “let me pinpoint liberals to ask who are the first 3 presidents.” Ask anyone that question Republican or liberal and no one is getting that right…liberal in their 20s or conservative in their 50s

      Liked by 1 person

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