If You Don’t Like Me…You’ll Love This

I’m a real self-deprecating prick. An Asshole. A shmuck. I’ve been trying to come up with a blog that would be really funny. The problem is…I’m not that funny. But plenty of people on the internet are. Plenty of people probably think, “why is this bald fuck still going with this shit?” The reason is, because I’m a people person, a man of the people. I give the people what they want. They may not know they wanted this, but they did.

I saw this subreddit called “roast me.” Essentially, it is just a place where you post a picture of yourself on the internet, and ask people to roast you. This may not be the funniest blog I’ve written, but I think this is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read about myself. I’ve had people make fun of me before, but these people are ten times more clever than I am. So, if you’re my friend and love to make fun of me, here are some of the greatest insults you’re missing out on. And if you hate me, well, you’ll love this.

Here is the picture that I posted of myself for context.

To start it off. This one is pretty spot on.

I agree wholeheartedly with this one. I feel like I’m the bonus Mario brother. Like the bonus Jonas brother.

Then people really got specific.

This one was my favorite. I know I have a big nose, but it really does look like my nose might come off if you take off my glasses. A couple more people commented on the nose here are those ones…

Then people mentioned how small my ears are. The difference between the size of my nose and my ears is concerning.

And, of course, I’m bald as fuck.

And, my personal favorite.

Oddly enough, the other body part people mentioned, was my hand. I’ve been asked to be a hand model before.

I was compared to several animated characters.

And some real life people, although, I’ve always been told I was the white Jamie Foxx

Some people thought I looked like this guy.

A lot of people mentioned the hanging plant Marisa just bought.

One guy thought I looked like a guy who steals babies.

And finally, one guy thought I looked like the baby.

This was eye-opening to say the least. I barely got hit with too many insults. Some of the other people had thousands of comments. I’m so plain looking that people barely wanted to take the time to even write something. This was probably the most effort I’ve put in for finding content for this blog. Go ahead and share this one. Click the follow button, maybe, if you’re feeling generous. Love you fuckers for reading these, hope you enjoyed this.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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