Valentine’s Day

So, this year is my first Valentine’s Day as a married man, and I invited my parents to stay with us for the weekend. I know, sounds like a real dumb shit move. But it was just a coincidence really, and we likely would have ate sushi and ice cream on the couch anyway.

People say Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday, but every holiday is a made up holiday. St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland is more believable than a baby shooting people in the ass with an arrow. A man traveling the world on a sleigh with flying reindeer holds more water than the holiday where you’re supposed to try to get a reservation along with every other sorry excuse for a husband. Yes, I forgot to get a reservation, and yes, I likely never will, especially since there are 4 of us now.

I got my wife a small gift, a useful one, but full disclosure, I didn’t order flowers and I don’t plan on it. I know, probably not the best move. But, I mean even the supermarket flowers are too expensive. No, what I got her will do.

She knows how I feel about her. My heart soars with the eagle’s nest.

There’s nothing worse than when you go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day and to be perfectly honest with you, I’ve only been out on Valentine’s day once. It was a blind date that my dad set me up on a zillion years back. The girl ordered a sprite with her bolognese, and I knew we weren’t right for each other. What do you do in a situation where the person your out to dinner with, doesn’t order a glass of wine with dinner? I know what I did… ordered a glass of wine. It was an older girl that already had a drinking problem. I hadn’t even come to realize that I had a drinking problem yet. Luckily, the timing for us was off. Dodged a bullet there.

Marisa wouldn’t want me to take her to restaurant on a night like this either. She knows me too well. She knows, I’d be listening to everyone else’s conversations except hers.

There are no good gifts for Valentine’s Day. There are no good dinners. I’d like to go for a nice lunch. People are still at work, restaurants aren’t too busy, and plus I love drinking during the day. Mainly, the day drinking thing, actually.

Marisa has explicitly told me that her love language is acts of service. She just wants me to do shit for her. She says she doesn’t need quality time with me. She really doesn’t even need to see me. I think a solid Valentine’s day for her would be getting her breakfast and coffee ready the night before she goes to work and then having dinner ready for her when she gets home. Whether or not she even sees me probably doesn’t make a difference. I probably do better without being seen or heard. I can only fuck a night up if I’m awake when she gets home. What can I say to make her day better? Anything I say will only be sarcastic and rude after 9 PM.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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