A Hundred Million People Will Watch the Superbowl Today, What Will The Other Two Hundred Million Be Doing?

I had a friend tell me the other day that he is not a Superbowl guy. Honestly, that surprised me because I felt like that’s like saying, “yeah, I’m not a Christmas guy,” and even my Jewish friends celebrate Christmas. Not because it’s a religious holiday or anything, but because in America, it’s a day where nothing is open and everyone just gets together to eat and drink. Similar to the Superbowl, it’s just a day to eat, drink, and be merry.

So, I had to investigate this a little bit more. Last year, 98.2 million people watched the Superbowl which although minuscule to the 1 billion who tune into the World Cup Finals, still seems like a big turn out. But 98.2 million people is less than a third of the people in our country. I know people may not like football but you have to like chicken wings, chicken wing dip, salsa, pizza, and of course, beer. But hey, to each their own. Sometimes you find out how other people do things, when you’ve been doing them one way your whole life and you find yourself totally taken aback. Like the Superbowl, I just remember watching every single year at someone’s house. I doubt I’ve ever missed one. But there are some other things in life I’ve been even more surprised by than hearing that this many people just don’t watch.

  1. For example, finding out people put milk in their coffee before they put their sugar in. That makes zero sense to me. The sugar will obviously dissolve better in a hot liquid before you cool it down with your milk.
  2. Another one is when you find out how someone else makes a peanut butter and jelly. There is only one way. You put the bread on the plate, then spread the peanut butter on that bread, and then spread the jelly on the peanut butter and close the sandwich. You definitely don’t do jelly on one piece of bread and then peanut butter on the other.
  3. Or maybe you find out that some psychopaths put milk in their bowl before they put their cereal. How do you even know how to proportion the amount of milk to the amount of cereal you want?
  4. Next thing you know, you’re at the IHop and the guy next to you is putting the syrup on his pancakes before he cuts them! How are you going to get the syrup on the middle of the bottom pancakes? It’s just physics.
  5. You move into college, and you find out your roommate sleeps with their socks on and you know they must be an orphan or something. Although I did have a roommate who peed in bottles instead of the bathroom, which is equally disturbing.
  6. I, like a normal person, put my toothpaste on my toothbrush, THEN, I wet the toothbrush.
  7. This is probably one of the most shocking, and that’s when you find out people wipe front-to-back or back-to-front when you’ve been doing it one way your whole life. The coordination of changing is mind boggling as you know it would be impossible for you to ever switch. If, you’re picturing me in the loo right now, know that I’m a back-to-front guy.
  8. And even more shocking, is when you find out that people are fucking standing up and wiping as opposed to just sitting and wiping. Are they bending over like they are about to hike the ball or something?
  9. If you’re still picturing me in the loo, know that I have my shirt off, and one day you find out that not everybody has to take their shirt off to go to the bathroom. You walk out of the bathroom, you forget to put your shirt back on, and people wonder what you were doing in there. It frees me up… no encumbrances.

I know that this deviated seriously from the Superbowl discussion, but I had to get this out. I’m sure there are plenty of others I will find out in the future, and learn I have been doing the simplest of tasks the complete opposite of someone else my whole life. Throw me a share today if you feel so inclined to do so. Hope you all have enjoyed the increase in production of blogs this week, I’m going to keep it going. If you don’t like it, well, you’re probably a liar, because this is the second to last sentence and you’ve gotten this far, so just admit to yourself that you enjoy my rambling and share this one. Enjoy the Superbowl

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

One thought on “A Hundred Million People Will Watch the Superbowl Today, What Will The Other Two Hundred Million Be Doing?

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