Pastor Troy Makes His Case For Own Sterilization

Lil Nas X wore a pink cowboy suit to the Grammy’s recently and it really pissed off Pastor Troy. He was very offended and somehow thinks this ridiculous outfit has something to do with the award. This is what he thought in his head and then decided to write on the internet for other people to see…

First off, sir, Applebee’s is a staple in a every teenagers life. Do NOT talk shit about it. But I mean let’s just analyze every line here because each one is absolutely ridiculous.

“Welp I guess I won’t be winning a Grammy if this is what I got to wear. They love to push this shit on our kids.”

I mean dude, you’ve been releasing music for 21 fucking years and the only award you’ve won is the Independent Icon Award. What even the fuck is that? Do you really think if you wore that pink suit you just win a Grammy? People have been wearing the most ridiculous clothing to these types of events forever. All of a sudden you’re worried about them pushing it on your kids? What does that even mean? Look at what the fucking Rolling Stones used to dress like. My parents let me listen to Eminem, 50-cent, and Lloyd Banks when I was a kid, but I’m not walking around gangbanging. Also here is a picture of the Stones.

“The other day @applebees, had some punks kissing and laughing eating mozzarella sticks. First thing my 14 yr old son said was “Fuck applebees” And it brought joy to my heart.”

I imagine that this couple was either two men or two women or two people who this guy gave way too much of a shit about. Pastor Tory can’t enjoy his shitty 12 dollar burger and half off artichoke dip because he sees two people having way more fun than he does. This guy is such a piece of shit, that his son is going to turn into a piece of shit. If I said “Fuck” anything when I was 14, my dad would’ve smacked the shit out of me. Pastor Troy is the kind of parent you’re supposed to be embarrassed about being with but this kid is like, “wow, my dad is so cool. I love going out to dinner and hating the gays with him.” Absolutely fucking bizarre. To be fair, when I go out to eat, I do pay attention to what everyone is doing, too but that’s because I’m a nosy son of a bitch.

“He sees it…their agenda to take masculinity from men.”

Ok, this is the last line I can analyze because this is just too ridiculous. Who is taking your masculinity? Nobody fucking wants it brotha man. Like if you want to be a big scary masculine man and open up all the pickle jars for poor women all over world, go for it. But I’ll tell you right now, nobody needs help with the god damn pickle jar anymore. “Punks” eating mozzarella sticks and making out at applebee’s aren’t trying to take your man juice. They are just trying to eat fried food for a cheap price and get off to whatever gets them off just like the rest of us, you narcissistic fuck.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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