Twitter is easily the best of all of the apps, save maybe Reddit. You can get anything you need. You got your news, you got your humor you got stupid people (me included, featured to the right), you got smart people, and of course, you have politics now. The best thing about politicians, is that these are people, who grew up without internet, like your parents using the internet. Imagine Aunt Barbara on Facebook running for president and continuing to post on Facebook. You get a lot of that with these folks. I compiled some tweets from the president and some people running against him to show you how silly politicians can be on the internet.
First up, Bernie:
This is actually an all time tweet from Bernie because honestly, I’m not calling an ambulance if I’m having a heart attack. I call an Uber and they are at my house in under 3 minutes. Uber has faster reactions to calls than ambulances these days. I understand that this tweet is a shot at the cost of ambulances, but Bernie, I’m not even going to the doctor if I don’t have to. You ever get a check up for a job at a doctor’s office? The last time I went for that the guy literally walked in, told me to pull down my pants, fondled my twig and berries, rubbed my belly and left the room without saying anything. And it cost me $173.
Now this tweet from Yang, is more along the lines of a babyboomer Facebook post. This is the tweet of a 50 something year old woman trying to alert the public of something she just heard about on the 6 o’clock news or via a meme she saw scrolling 4 seconds ago. Yang is always tweeting matter-of-fact statements. During wild card weekend Yang tweeted who was going to win the games and just got all of them wrong. Just a complete bust.
Then we get this video of Yang and I can’t help but think that his PR advisor must be Michael Scott. There is no one else on Earth, he could have learned this from, other than Michael.
Okay. Honestly I just picked a random tweet from Joe. To also be clear, I agree with the tweet. But how about in his display name, the (text join to 30330). I get that there must be some reason to have that there for a specific group of voters or something but this guy is literally on twitter. Is there a person on twitter, that is going to sign up for text alerts. I mean text alerts, I imagine, are for people without twitter. People already on Twitter are not signing up for text alerts.
This is a great Trump tweet. And I mean there are thousands of great Trump tweets, but I didn’t feel like scrolling through all of his tweets, so I just picked a recent one. The nicknames are literally endless. I wasn’t called this many names in elementary school and I was the “liddlest” kid in the whole damn 3rd grade. He calls AOC “dumb as a rock.” Whatever side you’re “rooting for,” this is great for ratings. And finally, one of my favorite Trump tweets of all time.
This sounds like the end of your favorite television show. This is the narrator finishing off an episode of gossip girl leaving you with a cliffhanger. I can hear it now… will the orange man be able to secure another 4 years of presidency? Or will Crazy Bernie or Yang Gang make a run for Commander in Chief? Until then, you know you love me. XOXO your cousin Vinny