Don’t Do Me Like That

So, the story I’m going to tell you is probably entirely too sad for this website, but hey, I have to deal with this shit every day, so you people can suffer for thirty seconds if you bother reading it. It’s not SAD sad. It’s not like when you watch a basketball player destroy their ACL and you know they are too old to recover. No, this is more sad like when you watch the guy in the crowd on the fan camera try to be funny and fall down the bleacher steps or something. Well, actually, it’s much worse than that. Now that I’m really comparing, it’s worse than both.

So, I see this patient who is laid up in bed to the point of no return unfortunately, but that’s just what I do on a day-to-day basis. Some of these patients, despite not knowing their own name, need activities to do, otherwise they just sit there all day, looking for cracks in their eyelids.

I call the families and try to make these stupid communication books that no one actually ever reads, but I try to find information out from the family to help find things the patient might like. I caught this one patients sister today, and I was bullshitting with her trying to find out some likes and dislikes the patient may have.

She says, “religious music.” I pushed for a little bit more, because, what does that even mean. I guess I could play religious music for the lady but like how long can you listen to that. I queried and questioned about her hobbies, to find out what else she likes, looking for anything, knitting, animals, reading, anything at all. And her sister says to me, “no, she only likes religious music.”

Honestly, this led me to wonder, is this lady just trying to fuck with her sister. Here’s what I figure, this woman is holding a grudge against her sister for something that happened 70 years ago. Maybe her sister stole a boyfriend, or took her favorite pair of bloomers, or maybe just splashed her in the lake one day. I don’t know but I can’t imagine being related to someone and thinking they only like religious music and that’s all. No other hobbies. But like I said, the grudge could be motivation here. I could see my brother telling someone that when I’m old and demented.

“Yeah, he only loves religious music so play that all day for him,” while he’s sitting there thinking, ‘yeah, how funny was it when you locked me in the basement you old fuck.”

I mean really, even really religious people like other stuff. Like just because you believe in God, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to like ANYTHING else. Yeah, maybe you can’t like anal sex or drugs, but I feel like most other things are fair game. Like baking, for example, you can like God and baking. But, I definitely don’t buy that the only thing this woman liked was religious music or any type of music for that matter.

This woman is laying here, dying, as her sister comes once a week to pick up her laundry. Here’s the sad part though: her sister either knows nothing about her and thinks she only likes religious music or she doesn’t give a fuck enough to think about how to make the slightest impact on her sister’s quality of life.

And I sit here daily trying to go to work and be happy in a place where the only friends I talk to all day are sitting on the edge of their own grave.

I hope that when I inevitably end up not being able to care for myself that someone says, “yeah, he loved the office so put that on re-runs for him, but yeah maybe also play him a little Tom Petty, and once a week cook him some tacos and guacamole.” But more than likely what will happen, is that someone will find out my favorite Tom Petty song is Don’t Do Me Like That, and I’ll waste a way listening to that song on repeat as they indeed, did me like that.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

One thought on “Don’t Do Me Like That

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