Europe: What They’re Doing Better

So, to start, I’ve never really been out of the country as an adult. I went to Mexico twice when I was a kid and most of what I remember is driving around in a manual Jeep with my parents and eating rotisserie chicken from the supermarket because I wouldn’t eat Mexican food.

I’ve also recently been to the Dominican Republic, but I stayed at the Hard Rock and didn’t leave to resort once. Not sure that counts as world traveling. But now that I’ve been out of the country for like a whole 6 days I’m basically a cultural connoisseur.

I want to just talk pros and cons of Europe. There are plenty of great things about Europe. I would venture to say more good than bad. But some of the things they do strike me as odd.

Pro: The Bathrooms

There are a couple great things about the bathrooms. First off, they are trying to save water. They are really making an effort over here to fight global warming. They have a button that flushes number 1 and a button that flushes number 2. This uses a small amount of water, somehow helping climate change I assume. In Germany, they also had the toilet in a different room than the shower, which I thought was cool, for obvious reasons.

Con: The Bathrooms

Although the toilet was in a different room, there were no fans. So, that was rough, especially after indulging in brats, beer, and wiener schnitzel. The toilet paper in Germany, everywhere I went felt like a brown paper bag. Bathrooms have some good and bad things.

Pro: Fighting Global Warming

Like I said, they really put the effort into fighting global warming. They save water in the bathrooms. They ask you if you want a bag at every store rather than just giving it to you, and they use way less plastic than us. Now obviously there is a con to this.

Con: Europe is Running Out of Water

No matter where you go, you pay for water. Every time I turned around I was paying 5 Euros for a water, usually not half as big as I needed. Any free water was served in little shot glasses. I’ve been dehydrated since I’ve been here. I’m cramping up every time I curl my toes. Although, I will say I enjoy the glass bottles.

Pro: No Rushing

Every where I go there is no rush. Everyone lives a very relaxed life style, slower than the pines of North Carolina. You can kinda just mosey about and no one seems to have a problem with it. You can sit at a restaurant table for hours and people don’t mind at all. Perfect way to relax on a honey moon.

Con: No Rushing

These people are so slow it’s painful sometimes. We sat at a restaurant for 30 minutes before they asked what I wanted to eat. I finished my whole half liter of beer before they took my food order. Which if you’re not hungry is not a big deal, but I was hungry an hour before we got to the place. One night at the hotel we wanted room service but the person on the phone couldn’t understand us so I had to go down to the restaurant to order the food. So, I ordered fairly quickly than waited 30 minutes for the food. I didn’t get upset like I may normally cause I’m in another country. I’m not trying to get arrested here. But I asked the guy to pay and he said give me a few minutes. I said, “But wait, this is my room number!” shouting my room number to him but he ignored me. So, I ignored him back and walked away with my food. Not sure if I’m going to have to pay or not for that tomorrow.

Overall, Europe has been good to us. I love how much beer they have and I love how many hours during the day they are drinking it. I loved wearing warm lederhosen, except when I Really Really had to pee. I loved when my wife wore a corset and drinking beer with people from all over the world. I loved the food and desserts in Amsterdam, but would probably not go back to a live sex show again (wife’s idea, not mine). Europe, it’s definitely been fun but I miss home and am ready to see my dog again. Until next time. Auf Wiedersehen.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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