What are you Drinking?

“What are you drinking?” she said to me as she smiled and walked up to me with the gleam of her braces breaking into my vision. We were at a party this weekend for the first time since I don’t know when and this girl walked up to me smiling, while I was standing about 5 feet from my fiancé. “What are you drinking,” she asked coyly. I had to look around for a second because I wasn’t even sure she was talking to me. I looked down at my beer and said, “uh, beer.”

“Well what kind?” she followed up with. I didn’t even know what I was drinking. Someone handed me a beer and I was just drinking it. Ended up being a pilsner, so I just showed her the can. I turned around to look at Marisa who was laughing at the exchange. Naturally, I start turning red, which luckily you can’t see because I haven’t shaved my beard in a while. The moving truck that is supposed to arrive from Las Vegas has yet to arrive, due to the holiday. Go figure.

I end up introducing myself to the girl while my fiancé watches me try to hold it together. I’m not someone who gets hit on often, or at all for that matter, so I’m really not talking from my ego here, I was genuinely surprised.  I wasn’t going to interrupt her and tell her I had a girlfriend, because that would just be weird. You know in that situation she’s then going to tell me she wasn’t hitting on me at all and then I look like a dick anyway. Instead, I just kept talking to her like a normal person, which I don’t think I was ever able to talk to girls comfortably. I didn’t even know people hit on each other in real life anymore, I thought everyone just goes on tinder.

I saw my friend Jesse walking across the room towards me and I pulled a Barney and interrupted her, “Have ya met Jesse?” After quickly introducing them I was able to escape back to the safety of Marisa, who began laughing at me. “I’m not crazy, I was being hit on right?”

“Yes, definitely,” she said laughing. Thankfully, Marisa has a sense of humor because I feel like for some people that could’ve quickly turned ugly.

We laughed about it for a little, but I won’t lie to y’all it feels good to be hit on. It’s a confidence builder when someone finds you attractive or thinks your interesting, or thinks, “well this is the last person in the room that doesn’t look like s/he’s with someone so maybe I’ll sleep with him/her.” Anyone that tells you different is a liar. Now, for me, I’m content with going home at 11, maybe even 10 to “take my dog out.” I’m the kind of person that wants to move the whole going out experience from 10PM to 2AM up to 6PM to 10PM.

If I was single, I would have spent the rest of that night trying to talk to this girl using my classic pick up line, “where are you from?” and then try to think of someone I know from there that we might have in common. This girl was from Mexico and I don’t know anyone from Mexico, so I would’ve quickly run out of things to talk about. Never been smooth with the ladies. Marisa didn’t even know that we were on a date, on our first date.

I haven’t spoken to my friend Jesse much since that night, so I’m not sure if the “Have ya met Jesse?” line really worked or not but it did seem like she was interested in him as the night drove on. Hopefully Jesse and she hit it off and this will be a funny story I hear about one day. Based on my experience though, I would’ve lost her somewhere at a bar where she found someone with a bit more hair than I have and who doesn’t wear cowboy boots to add a few inches to his height.






Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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