The Gym Attire

I don’t know if people will agree with this, but over the past 15-20 years our generation has shown that we are the obsessive generation. I don’t think it’s like any other generation. I could be wrong though. I didn’t live through the 70’s and 80’s. I’m just some shmuck who’s barely a nineties kid pretending not to be a millennial.

Every week there is something new with these people though, whether it be a fidget spinner, Pokémon cards, Call of Duty, Stranger Things, or a fucking Tamagotchi. We are a very obsessive group of human beings. Maybe that will help us in our careers to help develop products faster. Just kidding, these quick phase obsessions are just wasting our time. Our devotion to Netflix, Hulu, HBOGO, and all the other binge-watching type TV applications, is not going to help us learn anything. It might entertain us and help with emotional stress purely in an escapist type way, but these things aren’t helping. The fact that people have caught up on 300 episodes Grey’s Anatomy, which is approximately 8.3 days worth, is actually insane.

I have seen some healthy obsessions lately though. Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think there has ever been this many people addicted to their health, whether they become a vegan/vegetarian, stop eating red meat, shop organically, or, of course, go to the gym an unreal amount of times. This is one of the few obsessions in our generation that may be a good thing. Sure some of the diets are outrageous, like one time my friend ate only frozen blueberries, protein shakes, and egg whites for a whole week. Some people say cut out all of the carbs, but look how that turned out for the Atkin’s guy. Some vegetarians only eat pizza and peanut butter and jelly which is not exactly healthy. Then some people do juice cleanses and shit their brains out for days at a time.

I respect people who can spend time counting macros and watching every single thing that enters the body, because I did it for two weeks, and I’ll definitely never do it again. I enjoy eating at restaurants way too much to have a strict diet. I’ll go to the gym and try to eat healthy as much as I can, but after a few beers on a Friday night, I just want a couple slices of pizza with meatball.

Going to the gym though has turned into all sorts of different things. On one hand you got people doing crossfit, slinging weights around like the fucking original Greek Olympics. Then, on the other hand, you got these guys at the gym squatting 450 pounds trying to see if they can crush their knees into an oblivion. Every other weekend you have people racing through obstacle courses like it’s the God Damn Hunger Games. When it really comes down to it, there’s nothing better then the guy using the neck machine at the gym. That’s definitely good for the cervical spine.

Don’t, get me wrong, I love the gym. It’s the only place where there is peace and quiet. By that, I mean nobody talks to me. Except the occasional asshole who thinks I’m taking criticism that day, who will say something like “try less weight and control it more.” It’s always someone telling you to use less weight. Guy, if I wanted a fucking trainer I would have signed up for one at the front desk. I’m not trying to be Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger, I’m just trying to blow off steam before a long day of work.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this sign, but it’s usually right at the front desk of the gym. It tells you how you should dress at the gym. I believe its called a dress code. It tells you what you should and shouldn’t wear. Despite that sign specifically telling you what you can wear in the specific establishment, people still manage to fuck it up. But regardless of the sign, I just feel like its common sense what you should and shouldn’t wear.

“Boots, sandals, and those fucking weird toe shoes”

I will never understand how the fuck people wear boots to the gym. Are you working out in the snow? My boots way about 5 pounds each, so why would I drag them around the gym? And the sandals, I mean, these are just self explanatory. Like god forbid you drop a weight on your toe. Actually, if you’re wearing sandals at the gym, I hope you drop a weight on your toe. The weird toe glove shoes, or whatever you want to call them, are just bizarre. You want to wear them that’s fine, but tell me how you are washing the disgustingness out of them every time you wear them.

“Jeans and Cargo Shorts”

Jeans have become more comfortable over the years but why wear them to the gym? I wear the same god damn gym shorts I wore to 7th grade gym class and the dude next to me is working out with a pair of true religion jeans on. If you’re going to wear expensive clothes to the gym, go to Lu Lu Lemon man, they’ll get you all your expensive gym attire. Also, you don’t need to wear cargo shorts to the gym. What are you keeping in those pockets? There must be something I’m missing.

“Basketball Jerseys”

I don’t think that this one is a rule up front, but its just aggravating. Kobe Bryant doesn’t even work out in his basketball jersey, why are you doing bicep curls next to me wearing that jersey? That shit is not fucking comfortable, and you know it, I know it, and so does everyone else.

“Shirt cut all the way down to your hips”

How did you even do that? Did you buy it like that? I just don’t get the point of this one. Good circulation I guess. I hope guys bring back half shirts soon instead, of this shit soon. If I could wear a half shirt, I probably wouldn’t have so much belly button lint.

“Men with spandex”

Take your cock somewhere else.

“Socks up to your thighs”

What is this, the 7th grade? Are you dressing up for school spirit day? I see the same guy wearing these socks almost every day at the gym. I don’t know whether it would be worse if he was wearing the same pair of socks everyday, or if he has that many pairs of long socks.

“Women with make-up on”

I don’t know if this is a misogynistic thing to say or not but what the fuck. This girl at the gym yesterday was wearing a full face of make-up and bright pink eye shadow. I know you’re not wearing the make up for me or whatever, but you look like a clown. I don’t know exactly what a full face of make up really is but my girlfriend told me that’s what it was. I can’t imagine how sweat doesn’t pour that down your face. I got fucking P!nk working out next to me and a white guy wearing a doo rag with pink fucking capris and a black silk vest. Where am I?

But hey, after all, at least we’re all getting healthy. I have a funny feeling that half these guys are throwing the skis on and hitting the slopes hard before they show up to the gym, doing some BOOGERSUGAR, a little of that nose candy if you know what I mean. So, to each their own I guess. But for me, I’m going to stick to my Reebok shorts and ratty t-shirts that I stole from the laundry room in college.


Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

10 thoughts on “The Gym Attire

  1. I think just like how the guy said to you “try less weight and control it more,” it’s up to them to wear what they want because you don’t like it when they tell you what to do. As long as it’s not actually harming others, it’s fine.


    1. The opera would have an already established dress code because of its formal setting so the point is irrelevant. Secondly you wouldn’t wear a bathing suit to a ski mountain for safety reasons and has nothing to do with gym. If you’re really interested in finding out the answers to the questions you are asking why don’t you ask the people at the gym… I’m sure they’d be more than happy to fill you in. ☺️ I, personally, never like to just rant on my blog… because I know it won’t solve anything and I WANT to solve it, you see, so I would bring it up to the people concerned.


      1. Listen Sophia, this is a blog filled with ranting, raving and complaining, so don’t expect anything else. You would know that if you read any of the other blogs. Also, I don’t wear sandals to the gym for safety reasons. Also, I’m not interested in finding out answers to my rhetorical questions about why people wear such ridiculous clothing to the gym. The questions are rhetorical and you saying that I shouldn’t care what other people are doing, I should worry about myself sounds like pretty cliche advice. I don’t WANT to solve the mysteries of the gym. And I certainly don’t want to solve the mystery of why you are so interested in my opinion about the gym.


      2. Have you read through the first line of this piece? It says “I don’t know if people will agree with this” that means YOU yourself don’t know if you’re in the right and you’ve implied that you are aware that people will disagree with you.
        And also, I am a new follower and have read one of your previous blogs and I had no problem with it but this one I don’t agree with it, especially since it concerns women and wearing full face makeup which is their right to do. I have every right to express myself which you have a problem with and the fact that you are not addressing my points about the piece itself speaks volumes. You may not want to solve the mysteries but I myself am allowed to express my opinion without being threatened. Just how you seek to question, I also seek to question.


      3. Have I read through it? I wrote it lol. I’m not asking whether I’m in the right or not. I know I’m in the right, I just know people may disagree. It doesn’t concern women it has to do with the fact that sweat and make up don’t go well together. I’m not attacking women so don’t take it there. You have every right to expires yourself, but if you’re going to express yourself here, then I will continue responding. I answered all your points the opera and the gym alike, both have a dress code. And just like you don’t wear a bathing suit to a ski mountain, you don’t wear sandals to the gym. I believe those were your very important points. But again, just to be clear, this has nothing to do with women, whom I respect. I’m allowed to comment about make up.


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