Hurricane Who?

These storms have been crazy, am I right?!? Hurricane Harvey, Hurricane Irma, and now we have some Hurricane Jose. Tell me right now, who is picking these names. Hurricane Jose sounds like the only normal named Hurricane I’ve heard. This system of alphabetically naming hurricanes is outrageous. They’re even giving tropical storms names now. Let’s just number the storms. Hurricane 1, 2, and 3. Then we’ll know exactly where we’re at. No confusion. No names that haven’t been used since the early 50’s. How come we don’t ever name the good days? Like Sunny Day Alan, Morning Dewy, Crisp Morning Carol, or Summer Night Breeze Bob. People don’t like good days.

Everyone pretends that they love good weather, but that’s not the truth. People love catastrophe. Check your Facebook. See how many times someone wrote “be safe.”

This might be callous but it’s the truth. Natural disasters give people something more interesting to talk about than just the regular, old weather. Without these storms we only have boring weather to talk about. As a kid, I always thought it was funny that when people ran out of things to talk about, they would awkwardly say, “how’s the weather?” I thought it was just a joke. We’re so bored, we’re going to talk about something that just is what it is. But it’s not a joke. Think about every conversation you have with someone on a daily basis. You mention the weather at least 5 times a day. Can’t believe it’s raining. What a beautiful day. It’s too damn hot. It’s too damn cold. I hate the snow. Shut the fuck up already. How many times can we talk about the weather?

I’m a culprit of this as well. Every time I get out of my car, I say, “man, it’s fucking hot.” Shut up, Vin. It’s been hot since April. It hasn’t been under 95 during the day for over 4 months. Why do I keep telling myself it’s too hot? It makes me think that I must not have anything intelligent to say at all. I constantly call my parents and talk to them about the weather difference between New York and Las Vegas. It’s like I can’t just check the weather. I have to hear from them exactly how much rain is falling from the sky.

Back to the catastrophic storm that is about to barrel through the east coast. We love to get on social media and tell people to be safe. Without your “be safe” comment, might these people have gone out boating? Were they going to set up their slip and slides? Maybe they are though. If there is a time to talk about weather, this would be it.  People aren’t leaving. Some people are just “weathering” the storm, which is probably why there are plenty of videos of people traipsing through 3 feet of water in Houston. If I’m wrong please correct me. Please comment. I’m begging you. Tell me I’m wrong, somebody, please!

I’m not saying people love that people are going to get hurt. Fact is, that no one cares if anyone is going to get hurt. We just care that everyone knows we want people to “be safe,” whatever that means. We don’t want to help. We want people to know we want to help.

Maybe some people truly care. For the most part, most people just need something to talk about besides the weather. So, calamitous weather, like this, satisfies the need. Unfortunately, it seems that weather is the only thing that we all have in common. Oh, and the fact that we’re all human beings, but nobody seems to give a shit about that.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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