So you must know that the clubs in Vegas are really popular. I go to the club every other weekend, more specifically, Sam’s club. I was in Sam’s club on Saturday morning and I walk in, grab a shopping cart from outside, and I start looking at some of the watches they have right when you walk in. I’m standing there for about 3 minutes when this girl walks up to me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and say, “hey what’s up?” She looks me and asks, “did you just take my cart?” I laugh cause I thought she was kidding and respond, “uh, no.” She then asks me, “well then where did it go because it was just sitting right here?” Uhh I don’t fucking know, psychopath, even if I did take it, am I all of a sudden going to admit it now. So this time I stop laughing and in a very George Costanza-esque way I respond, “look, I didn’t TAKE your cart.” She continues to berate me and says, “well you’re the only one over here.” So now I’m mad obviously
So sarcastically, I tell her, “there’s like 20 people in this section of the store, I think you should just go get a new cart.” She says, “yeah, I guess I have to,” giving me a dirty look. And then again, feeling Costanza blood burning through my skin, I huff and say, “yeah I guess you do.” The rest of the time I’m in this store, this girl gives me dirty looks every time she sees me like I’m following her around.  This woman actually thought I stole her cart and lied to her face. Why on earth would I do that? Really thinking about it though, who the fuck walks into a Sam’s Club without getting a cart? I really hope the person that did steal psycho’s cart was standing there watching this go down. Honestly, I want to know why she left her cart long enough for someone to take it. If you leave an empty cart around for more than a minute, I’m pretty sure it’s fair game anyway. So think a little bit next time crazy lady. The Sam’s Club is no place to leave your things unattended.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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