The Separation

Last night, I went to the casino to go see a movie. I saw the accountant by the way. Thought it was great. Anyway, I went to this movie and after it was finished I walked back to my car. I had to park in the parking garage so I took an elevator down to my car. As I was walking there, I saw this couple walking towards the elevator too; although they were a little ahead of me. I get to the elevator and obviously these douchebags saw me coming and didn’t hold the elevator. So I watched the door close and stood there for a second so that I can press the elevator button and wouldn’t have to stand there with them. I clicked the button about ten seconds later, lo and behold their elevator doors open again. I walked into the elevator a little stunned that I had to stand with them now. They are clearly arguing and it was terribly uncomfortable. He was standing by the buttons not pressing anything.  I wasn’t exactly sure if I should press my floor because he hadn’t selected a floor at this point. I also didn’t want to step in front of this jerkoff arguing with his wife. So I stood there for 15 seconds until the guys said, “man, what floor you goin’ to”. He said it with a real attitude but whatever he was heated. So I tell him the floor and he presses it but holds the elevator door. He was obviously very confused because he was looking for floor 10. We were in the parking garage elevator… he didn’t understand that there could possibly be an another elevator. This is the part where it really became fun. His wife proceeds to ask him “why do we have to get a separated?” He responds with some trickery, “were not getting a separation, were just doin’ our own ‘ting’ four a while”. This whole time the elevator has yet to move. Finally, the wife suggests they go to the car. That’s when the elevator starts moving. The husband is telling her to not step out of line in a way that made me think he was going to hit her or something. He starts threatening her and she starts cursing her head off. We get to my level now and we all get out. I was thinking I should say something. But then I thought, “why the fuck would I do that”. I hope you weren’t hoping for some kind of heroic ending. It’s just another day in the life of George Costanza, lord of the idiots.

Published by Your Cousin Vinny

I'm just a guy, who really is trying to figure out what the move is.

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